|The Icelandic Phallological Museum|
I went there. Yes. "There."
What there? The Icelandic Phallological Museum. You know, Iceland's museum of the penis.
The museum is located in a storefront on a street on the outer fringe of downtown Reykjavik. It's all about the penis.
That's a penis from a fetal minke whale. They have an absolutely extraordinary number of whale penes, each, to coin a phrase, big as a whale. Supposedly a penis for every mammal indigenous to Iceland.
Even this walrus penis (above) is whale-sized. Goo goo g' joob, indeed. But what makes this museum truly unique, the most unique, are the descriptive captions. The captions are in Icelandic and translated into eight other languages, mostly the Norse languages and the common tourist languages of English, French, German, Italian and ...
Esperanto. This may well be the only museum that I've visited that uses Esperanto. And it gives it top billing among the foreign tongues, right below the native Icelandic.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO STOP READING HERE AT THIS POINT. YOU MIGHT WANT TO NOT SCROLL DOWN BECAUSE, AT THIS POINT, THINGS ARE GONNA GET A LITTLE "NSFW," AS IN "NOT SAFE FOR WORK."
If you are in the privacy of your home, however, scroll away.
There is a fair amount of space dedicated as an homage to the human penis. None (thankfully) are in flesh, severed, and soaking in formaldehyde. There are numerous penis-shaped objects rendered in the medium of wood.
Such as this penis phone. Can you imagine? Truly the place for a landline telephone with a hard-wired handset would be a museum.
Should I keep going?
This was my favorite. The society's gavel. In wood. Why you could even call it hard wood, if you were so inclined. Which I'm not. They even had penises cast in silver.
In honor of Iceland's silver metal winning Team Handball team from the 2008 Beijing Olympics.
It boggles the mind to think of the logistics behind making this sort of display happen. Not sure if the silver dongs are arranged in the same order as the team photo above, but if that's case, Mr. Far Left and Mr. Back Center probably have no problem getting dates, while Mr. Back-Second-from-Right, I'm sure your mother is still proud of all you've accomplished in life despite falling a little short in some ways.