Day Two in the Land That Smiles Forgot: the National Museum

An Armenian king holding an Armenian temple underneath an Armenia flag
at the entrance of the History Museum of Armenia

My second day in Armenia, the Land That Smiles Forgot. Maybe it's the country's tragic history. Maybe it's the shame over birthing the Family Kardashian. Maybe it's me.

Outside the national museum: a bas relief of an Armenian king doing battle against either a lion or a street dog.
Can't tell which.

If it seems like I am constantly measuring Yerevan and Armenia against Tbilisi and Georgia, and finding that Armenia comes up short, it is because I am. Another example of how cold and unfriendly Yerevan is: the hotel breakfast buffet. Not a single "good morning." Not a single inquiry into whether I needed anything. Not a single word. Not a single smile. Not a single acknowledgment that I was in their working space.

Two men holding a temple. This is not photo-realism.

In Tbilisi, Georgia, and in Baku, Azerbaijan, the hotel staff constantly kept coming up to me and asking if I was enjoying my stay, and if I needed anything, or if they could get something for me, followed my a list of suggestions. And it was not just the restaurant and buffet staff! Everyone who worked at the hotel! At first, it was a little off-putting as I am naturally cynical. Then I realized: this is who they are. They are acting this way because they genuinely want me to enjoy myself and they genuinely do not want me to be lacking in anything I need. Another example: my driver on my tour around Kutaisi, Georgia, advanced the cost of 150 GEL admission (about $60 U.S.) to one of the sights on the tour because it did not take credit cards. I said I would pay him back the next day. Which I did. And I think my driver was a bit disappointed that I did because he gladly would have made that amount a gift to me, even though it was decent share of the whole cost of the tour. Tbilisi and Baku destroyed my wall of cynicism. Yerevan built it back up in 24 hours.

Enough of that (for now). There were two items on the day's agenda, neither of which involved holding a conversation with an actual Armenian. First stop: the History Museum of Armenia, the Armenian national museum.

The collection starts in the pre-historic era, which means lots of pottery. Lots and lots of pottery.

Such as cauldrons.

This is a bronze age hearse, as evidenced by the Western USA style cattle skulls:

This is I believe a chariot. With stone wheels.

Probably rides a little rough, but at least you won't hydroplane in a rain storm.

And this is a boot you can drink out of.

This may be the first drinking shoe I've ever seen in a national museum, Apparently B.C. era Armenians had something of a shoe fetish.

We know what this.

That would be tough to lug to a WNBA game to throw out onto the court.

More shoe fetish proof.

Not one drinking shoe, but a pair of drinking shoes. Again, this is something I've never seen before in a national museum. Multiple drinking shoes.

And beneath that weird-looking object with three pipes coming out it?

Shoes.

The shoe fetish makes ordinary pottery such as this look ordinary.

This is a stone creature who looks like he came from a New Order video.

I love that video. And this -- what? -- a Stone Age conehead?

Let's consume mass quantities. Because we're from France.

Here is a metal deer.

There was a mountain scene behind it, so I photographed it to look like the deer was in the mountains. Because that's the sort of thing I do to amuse myself when I'm on vacation. And it worked. I'm amused.

A stone tablet with cuneiform writing all over it.

A wall painting taken and reconstructed from the Temple of the God Haldi:

With pottery in the foreground.

This is a statue of a man:

At first I thought: how is he going to operate that fire extinguisher without any arms. Then I saw that he did have arms. Tiny little T-Rex arms, glued to his body. Still tough for him to operate the fire extinguisher, if you ask me.

A goat:

A mosaic from the floor of the bathhouse at the temple complex in Garni.

Garni has a famous temple. It once had a bathhouse, but the Soviets destroyed the remaining bathhouses in Armenia. There are no bathhouses in Armenia such as those found in Tbilisi or the hamams found in Azerbaijan. If you want to bathe in Armenia, you must do so in the privacy of your own home.

Bas relief of a pomegranate:

They do love pomegranates in Armenia.

Here is a room filled with Armenian Apostolic Church iconography.

The Armenian Apostolic Church is a distinct branch of Christianity. It even has its own "quarter" in the Old City Jerusalem, which has the Christian Quarter (shared by the Catholics and the Orthodox), the Jewish Quarter, the Islamic Quarter, and the Armenian Quarter.

 

And here are the wine grapes, in bas relief form.

The museum collection ends with the Ottoman Turk invasion of Anatolia around 1500. There is no Armenian history on display after that point because the most recent 500 years of Armenian history, including the massive loss of territory (including sacred Mount Ararat) to the Turks, as well as the Soviet era, is AWOL. It's under renovation. Move along. Nothing to see.

And speaking of under renovation. The fountains that were so beautiful last night? Dry as a Baptist County in the State of Georgia.

They are shut down every Tuesday morning for a massive cleaning. They should be working tomorrow.

Then it was off to the Vernissage Market.

There a huge number of stalls selling jewelry, carpets, and chess sets -- lots of chess sets -- chess is the national sport -- schoolchildren are required to study chess for a few years -- primarily to the tourist market and when I say tourist market, I mean the Russian tourist market. Russians make up by far the largest segment of tourists to Armenia, especially now that Russians have great difficulty traveling west to Europe.

This being Armenia, the land where you're made to feel not very welcome, you can walk past the stalls and no one bothers you. You can walk into the shops (most of the merchandise is sold from stalls, but there are some stand-alone stores) and you will not be bothered. If you hate being immediately accosted by a salesperson the moment you are within 50 feet of a store, then, perhaps, an Armenian vacation is right for you.

At the end of the Vernissage market is the Vardan Mamikonyan Statue. Posed in front of a Soviet style apartment building. Of which there are many in an otherwise architecturally-interesting Armenian capital city. As I said, whatever criticism I may have of Armenian, none of it is directed to the magnificent landscapes and beautiful architecture I am seeing.

Armenia: The Land of "You Can't"

Whatever quibbles I am having with Armenia right now, the beauty of the architecture in Yerevan is not one.

My first impression of Armenia:  It's definitely not Georgia or Azerbaijan.

My flight left Tbilisi early in the morning.* It was a 30-minute flight to Yerevan, which meant it was still early morning when I arrived in Armenia. Armenia goes into the books as my 46th country visited. Things did not get off to a great start at the passport check. The woman saw the stamp in my passport indicating I recently had visited Azerbaijan. "Why did you visit Azerbaijan?" Tourism. "Do you have any friends in Azerbaijan?"

The hotel is beautiful. Could I get an early check in? I know I have no right to early check in, but I received a curt "Your room will be ready at 3:00 p.m." It was not even noon and it the hotel did not have luggage storage to leave my bags so I at least could explore the area.

I did abandon my bags enough to snap some pictures of the hotel exterior. And wander the interior.

The good news is that they did not make me wait the full amount of time until three o'clock. My room was ready for me to occupy at 2:50 p.m.

The room is large and has a view of a park.

After nearly two weeks in Azerbaijan and Georgia, I was thinking these were the two most friendly countries to which I have ever traveled, with warm, welcoming, helpful. Now that I am in Armenia, I can say without any hesitation that Azerbaijan and Georgia are the two most friendly, most welcoming countries to which I have ever traveled. I reserve the right to change my opinion once I gather more data, but my first impression is set in stone. It is set in the pink tuff stone of which so many buildings in the core of Armenia's capital have been built.

Refreshed by a nap -- I did not get much sleep the night before out of fear I would over-sleep and miss my plane (and be forced to spend more time in Tbilisi) (throw me in that briar patch, please) -- and not having eaten since a muffin at the Tbilisi airport early in the morning, I went searching for supper. Easier said than done.

Again, there is a very nice park right next to my hotel.

With street dogs and historic stones/stela.

And more modern stela:

Yerevan, Armenia's capital, is a beautiful city -- at least in the historic core in which I am staying -- with parks and fountains and greenery and building made of the same pink tuff stone.

This is Republic Square, the heart of Yerevan.

Pink tuff stone buildings and giant fountains:

I believe that building is the Marriott.

This is the building of the Government of the Republic of Armenia:

Again, the architecture and urban design in Yerevan is awesome.

This is the national museum:

I walked through Republic Square to get to the restaurant at which I intended to eat. I will not name it. (It was the Taverna Yerevan.) The restaurant was nearly empty. "Do you have a reservation?" No. "Then we can't seat you." They couldn't seat me in their empty restaurant. Tried another restaurant just down the street. The Sherep. I asked: "Can I eat here?" Answer: "Do you have a reservation?" No. "Sorry." At least the Sherep had the decency to say "sorry" and, at least, the restaurant was half full. Plenty of seats, but at least not empty like the previous restaurant.

So I went to a restaurant where I knew I could get served without a reservation.

 

Mr. Gyro. The food was -- how should I put it? -- better than awful.

After eating, I walked back to the hotel, past many restaurants none of which were even half full. I suspect in each case, I would have been denied entrance for lack of a reservation. Because those are the rules. After two weeks of being in countries were the locals were bending over backwards and contorting themselves into pretzels (figuratively) (not literally) (who's that limber?) to be helpful and accommodating, this "You Can't" attitude is a bit jarring.

 

But at least the city of Yerevan is beautiful, whether in sunlight or lit up after dark.

Footnote *: One concerning moment in the check-in line at Tbilisi Airport to get my flight to Yerevan. The guy behind me in line looked exactly like the point/counterpoint guy from the movie "Airplane": Shana. They bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say: "Let 'em crash."

A Rainy Day in Georgia: Time to Head to the Museum

Metal heads in bowls. Now at the Georgian National Museum.

It was a rainy morning in Georgia.  It was pouring down rain hard with lots of loud claps of thunder.  Not ideal tourist conditions.  But when you on vacation on a rainy day, that means it is a great day to go to the museum.

I went to the Georgian National Museum, which -- and this is important given that it was pouring rain -- was only a 10-minute walk from the hotel.  The bottom floor has the anthropology section.  Skulls, like above, and animal bones, such as these:

There once were rhinoceroses in Caucasuses.

Ostriches too.

Are these what I think they are?

Historic, even prehistoric, jello molds.  From so long ago they were from a time before jello came powdered in a tiny box.

And this is a belt.  For a man.

What fascinated me about this was just how tiny the men's waists must have been from when that belt was new.

Hunting scenes on the side of the belt:

And here is a metal female head in a metal bowl.

It's like the metal male head in a metal bowl up top, only female.

And this is a small piece of gold ornamentation:

There also was an interesting exhibit of Georgian Orthodox church art that, for some reason, forbade photography.  So I took no photographs.

All in all, the national museum was not very detailed on the history of Georgia, with one notable exception.

The exhibit covering the period of Soviet occupation of Georgia, which is roughly from 1921, when the Bolsheviks conquered Georgia and ended the First Republic of Georgia up through the fall of the USSR in 1991.  Georgia had a treaty with the Soviet Union to recognize Georgian independence, but once the communists had full control over Russia, they broke the treaty.  And proceeded to go on a massive killing spree.

The communists slaughtered the Georgian elite, the religious leaders, artists, anyone of prominence in the Georgian community.  Why?  Because they were communists and communism is evil.  Satanic evil.  If you know anything of the history of Bolshevism and communism, you know that is not hyperbole.

The exhibit consists mostly of photos are writings of those slaughtered by the communists,  It tells the story of the evil of Soviet communism more eloquently than a timeline ever could.

This is an exhibit of the first in Georgia to be murdered by the Soviet communists:

Never again.