Walking Around Antigua without a Guide

The Arch and the Volcano: the signature view of Antigua

The City of Antigua, Guatemala, is quite compact. Most of the sights -- and by "sights" I mean "church ruins" -- are in a small area that measures, roughly six blocks by six blocks. There are a few ruins that stray outside that square. And the Cerro de la Cruz (big cross on a hillside) overlooking the city is well outside the square (and unvisited for today). But the main sights are in a confined space.

And this being Guatemala, what other way is there to start the day than with a big ol' cup of Guatemalan bean coffee?

Fortified with the requisite caffeine, it's time to take in the ruins.

The first set of ruinizations would be the remnants of Iglesia San Agustin.

Some of the ruins are open for exploration. Some are not. Iglesia San Agustin is a "not."

Off to trod more of the cobblestone streets of Antigua, with an emphasis on the "cobble" part.

Tomorrow I wear hiking boots, which will make walking on the uneven stones much easier on the feet. And, after only a few blocks, I came upon the most famous, most photographed tourist site in all of Guatemala: the Arco de Santa Catalina.

It is an arch over a street that in the old days of the city functioned as a way for cloistered nuns to get from one building on one side of the street to the other without being exposed to humanity, since their vows allowed no interaction with the rest of the human race.

There are days that I have great envy for such a lifestyle.

Once you cross under the Arch ("arco" is the Spanish word for "arch," not "gas station"), you quickly arrive at the grounds of the Iglesia de la Merced.

Which is not in ruins.

It appears to be an actual functioning non-ruined church.

On the other hand, you don't have to walk far to come upon another church ruin.

Antiguo Colegio de la Compañía de Jesús. Only this may not be complete ruins (sort of like my hotel, which is a hybrid of church ruins and useful structure).

Would there be that many motorbikes if these were ruins?

Lots of motorbikes at the Helados Marco Polo ice cream store, too.

Then it is off to the Plaza Mayor,

The highlight of Antigua's Parque Central is this fountain. It includes a woman who has streams of water flowing out from her breast nipples.

That was the profile view. Here she is in landscape.

That is definitely something you do not see everyday.

And here is another hybrid of ruins and function,  This is the Cathedral of Antigua Guatemala, the Catedral San José.

It is a functioning cathedral, on the modern side.

Nicely ornate but nothing like you know these ruins were in their day.

But attached to the functional cathedral is the property for the glorious ruins of the Catedral San José.

Which you can tour!

Which I did. The above damage, with the crumpled column, is not from the massive 1773 earthquake that destroyed Antigua. That damage is more modern. It's from the massive 1976 earthquake that struck Guatemala City.

Antigua and Guatemala City both sit at a point where three tectonic plates collide. California thinks life is difficult on the edges of two tectonic plates. This is where the North American, the Caribbean, and the Cocos Plate (a small plate off the Pacific coast of Central America) collide (often) violently.

So why build cities here and risk such massive destruction? The volcanoes of Guatemala mean that there is extremely rich soil for agriculture, making it worth putting up with the shaking and quaking.

Even if it leaves your beautiful cathedrals in ruins.

The building must have been absolutely spectacular in its day.

One last set of ruins for the day. These are Las ruinas iglesia de la Concepción, the ruins of the Church of the Concepcion.

Lots of work currently being done to get these ruins in good enough shape to show off.

At this point, the sky was looking like some rain. Time for an afternoon break.

My Antigua Hotel Doubles as Church Ruins

Agua Volcano visible the gardens of my hotel

I decided to treat myself to a much more luxurious hotel than where I normally would lay my head. Prices were down because of COVID phobia. And I got cheated out of my 60th birthday celebration last year. So I decided I was worth a splurge.

I am staying in the Casa Santo Domingo on the edge of Antigua. That is a courtyard just over from the row of rooms where I am staying. As I may have said before, my room has a pool view, which no one is using due to some combination of mild temperatures, rain storms, and COVID-induced limited capacity at the pool.

Lots of religious art because this used to be a church.

Until the earthquake.

Antigua was largely destroyed by a massive earthquake on July 29, 1773. The city lay largely in ruins. The Guatemalan capital then was packed up and moved to the present site of Guatemala City, which made zero sense since Guatemala City was just as earthquake prone. (Most recent massive quake: 1976.)

The ruins of the old church are still used for Sunday mass once a week.

 

There is a roof, but it's otherwise open air.

And for you preservation absolutists who want to be horrified that they built a luxury hotel around the unreconstructed (but shored-up) ruins of great church, relax. There are plenty of other churches in ruins in Antigua. Church ruins are as common in Antigua as casinos in Las Vegas.

The un-ruined parts of the hotel complex are quite nice.

And they have parrots poolside.

Maybe around seven or so.

They like to squawk, but only during the day. The museums on the hotel grounds -- and there are several -- are largely closed (including the chocolate museum), probably all casualties of COVID. The spa, like the hotel spas in Las Vegas, has very limited capacity. But the birds are open for business.

They sleep at night. So I can, too.

Celebrating my 61st in Antigua Guatemala

My hotel room overlooks a gi-gund-ous (is that a word?) swimming pool

I wanted to take a trip somewhere for my 61st birthday mainly because the awesome trip I planned in 2020 celebrating six decades of me was cancelled due to the COVID. (I was going to go to Israel with a side trip to Tbilisi, Georgia, since I already was on the other side of the globe.) (In case you were wondering.) So, looking at my list of where I wanted to go before they chop my feet off, and comparing what was on that list with what was open in the COVID world, the tiny ball of the roulette wheel o' life dropped into the slot labelled Antigua, Guatemala.

The morning broke with me still in Flores, Guatemala, with nothing to do but wait for my airplane ride back to Guatemala City to catch the shuttle to Antigua. It was hot. There still was no internet. The museum that Google Maps claims exists still seemed nonexistent. So I hung out in the hotel's small rooftop pool (with very nice cool water). Here's the view:

Despite missing the first leg of my roundtrip flight from GUA to FRS (Guatemala City to Flores, for those of you who do not speak airport), it was no problem with the return leg. And let me tell you, TSA's collective head would explode if they knew what sort of security situation they have for Guatemala domestic flights at outlier airports.

Soon enough I was at my genuinely sincerely luxury hotel room in Antigua.

My room is the size of the whole island of Flores. I decided to splurge on luxury, especially given how affordable high-end luxury can be in the Age of the 'Vid. This is at least a $350 hotel room in the U.S. And that would be in a second or third tier tourist town. I'm not paying anything remotely close to that. 

I decided to treat myself to a luxury birthday dinner at the hotel's upscale dining room:

It was atmospherically dark. It also was chilly. The temperatures in Antigua at this hour are about 40 degrees less than Flores. (Low 60s compared to low triple digits, if you're into numbers.)

Three-course meal, since that seemed appropriate for a birthday, even if it is not one of the milestone ones.

For the appetizer, grilled asparagus and arugula, with almonds, balsamic vinegar and I believe that orange base is a tomato puree, but I could be making that up:

For the main course, it was beef tenderloin with a side of fettucine alfredo:

And here is one of those little things you miss living in the Age of the 'Vid:  they had salt and pepper shakers (salt and pepper grinders to be pedantic), right on the table! I didn't have to ask for little teeny-tiny white packets of the each. On my table! Unsolicited!

And since it was my birthday, I had to order a dessert. Not to do so would be uncivilized. So I ordered the brioche with caramel ice cream and -- these were the intriguing details -- "wild honey air" -- I figured something there got messed up in the translation and an "almond tile":

The brioche was basically a French toast with the sugar on top being put under a blowtorch. Yum. The ice cream is hidden by the "almond tile," but it has a nice deep flavor. The "almond tile" was a tasty almond cookie. The "wild honey air" was that useless dessert foam that adds nothing of substance but is bizarrely popular with the foodie community who loves novelty and does not seem to like things that taste good. The "air" took up space on the plate. It wasn't bad, but it added no value.

Feliz cumpleaños para mi. Yo tengo sesenta y uno años ahora.

Languid and Lazy on the Petén Itza

The view of the island of Flores from my luxury cruise ship

After a long, hot day traipsing through the Mayan city of Tikal -- did I say "hot" -- well, not so much the heat as the -- you know what's coming -- the humidity -- I needed a languid, lazy day. So I walked around Flores, cruised around Lake Petén Itza, and then sat around the hotel as a major thunder storm blew in and knocked out the power (and therefore the air conditioning) (and, even worse, the internet) for several hours.

Flores is a very nice (and did I mention hot) city on an island in a lake in a rain forest.

 

In fact, the rain forest of Guatemala's El Petén state is the largest jungle in North America. I would've guessed Panama's impenetrable Darien Gap, but I would've guessed wrong.

Not far from my hotel was a small park. There was supposed to be a museum here, according to Google Maps, but none of the locals heard of it. I trust the locals over the Google geeks in Silicon Valley. But there was a cathedral of sorts.

The official name is Catedral Nuestra Señora de Los Remedios. It is on the highest point on the island of Flores and its two white domes dominate Flores's profile. You can see the two white domes in the photo at the top of the page.

Let's have a look-see:

It's simple. I'm expecting much much more historic architecture when I tour the churches of Antigua at my next stop. This is the altar:

Excellent views of the lake from up here:

You can see the white domes in this photo from the other side of the park:

And the Flores city park has stelae:

Is it real? Or is it memorex? Well, real or replica?

I'm guessing replicant, but they are a nice addition to the park regardless.

All this walking was making me tired. And the City of Flores was even hotter than Tikal (no shade trees would be my theory). So I needed a way to explore without walking in the hot sun.

All around the edges of the island were boats available for tours. I chose Luciano's boat.

Off we went. One hour for only 200 quetzales. A bargain.

The exchange rate is, very roughly 7:1. So 200 quetzales would be a little under $30. For an hour. Only me on the boat besides Luciano the boatsman. In the second year without tourists. Sin problemas. Para mi.

The first destination was Isla Santa Barbara, an island in the lake much much smaller than the island of Flores.

It has iguanas in the trees. They are hard to spot in a tiny photo, but since the iguanas of the Petén are freakin' huge, the one in the above tree was relatively easy to spot even for me. And I never recognize anybody.

This is an abandoned lake side hotel.

With no exterior walls facing the lake, just open air, it's easy to see why it was abandoned. I'm guessing it was abandoned mid-construction, but it didn't tell its secrets to me.

Of course we were not the only boat cruising around Lake Petén Itza.

Yes, the "Itza" is the same "Itza" as in "Chichen Itza, Mexico." "Itza" is a Mayan word meaning "sorceror of the water," or thereabouts, which makes much more sense for a lake than an inland peninsula.

There are little tourist villages all around lake. I'm guessing those are more for the Guatemalans than the foreigners, but that's a guess with absolutely no basis in fact.

Somebody ferrying a car across the lake. And you can see the white domes of the cathedral from the island. So much happening in that photo above.

And here's another lakeside tourist village.

This has been major tourism country, driven as much by fun on the lake as by nearby Tikal, and, hopefully, it soon will be again.

At this point, the hour for which I paid my quetzales was coming to a close, time to head back to the dock.

I did not know that there was a huge new Ramada right on the water. The thing must have more rooms than every other hotel on the island of Flores combined.

And we're back at the dock.

Adios, Luciano.

Time for a little more walking around before getting out of the hot afternoon sun.

I headed back to the hotel to rest up before dinner. I decided that I was going to try a different restaurant than the hotel restaurant (which was very good) (I just thought some variety would do me good).

And here are the obligatory letters marking everyplace you go nowadays.

But, right around 5:00 p.m., even with a sunny sky, a major storm blew in. The winds were so strong that it knocked out the power until around 10:00 a.m. The internet was still out even when I checked out of the hotel this morning.

Good-bye Isla de Flores Hotel. Good-bye Petén.