Celebrating my 61st in Antigua Guatemala

My hotel room overlooks a gi-gund-ous (is that a word?) swimming pool

I wanted to take a trip somewhere for my 61st birthday mainly because the awesome trip I planned in 2020 celebrating six decades of me was cancelled due to the COVID. (I was going to go to Israel with a side trip to Tbilisi, Georgia, since I already was on the other side of the globe.) (In case you were wondering.) So, looking at my list of where I wanted to go before they chop my feet off, and comparing what was on that list with what was open in the COVID world, the tiny ball of the roulette wheel o' life dropped into the slot labelled Antigua, Guatemala.

The morning broke with me still in Flores, Guatemala, with nothing to do but wait for my airplane ride back to Guatemala City to catch the shuttle to Antigua. It was hot. There still was no internet. The museum that Google Maps claims exists still seemed nonexistent. So I hung out in the hotel's small rooftop pool (with very nice cool water). Here's the view:

Despite missing the first leg of my roundtrip flight from GUA to FRS (Guatemala City to Flores, for those of you who do not speak airport), it was no problem with the return leg. And let me tell you, TSA's collective head would explode if they knew what sort of security situation they have for Guatemala domestic flights at outlier airports.

Soon enough I was at my genuinely sincerely luxury hotel room in Antigua.

My room is the size of the whole island of Flores. I decided to splurge on luxury, especially given how affordable high-end luxury can be in the Age of the 'Vid. This is at least a $350 hotel room in the U.S. And that would be in a second or third tier tourist town. I'm not paying anything remotely close to that. 

I decided to treat myself to a luxury birthday dinner at the hotel's upscale dining room:

It was atmospherically dark. It also was chilly. The temperatures in Antigua at this hour are about 40 degrees less than Flores. (Low 60s compared to low triple digits, if you're into numbers.)

Three-course meal, since that seemed appropriate for a birthday, even if it is not one of the milestone ones.

For the appetizer, grilled asparagus and arugula, with almonds, balsamic vinegar and I believe that orange base is a tomato puree, but I could be making that up:

For the main course, it was beef tenderloin with a side of fettucine alfredo:

And here is one of those little things you miss living in the Age of the 'Vid:  they had salt and pepper shakers (salt and pepper grinders to be pedantic), right on the table! I didn't have to ask for little teeny-tiny white packets of the each. On my table! Unsolicited!

And since it was my birthday, I had to order a dessert. Not to do so would be uncivilized. So I ordered the brioche with caramel ice cream and -- these were the intriguing details -- "wild honey air" -- I figured something there got messed up in the translation and an "almond tile":

The brioche was basically a French toast with the sugar on top being put under a blowtorch. Yum. The ice cream is hidden by the "almond tile," but it has a nice deep flavor. The "almond tile" was a tasty almond cookie. The "wild honey air" was that useless dessert foam that adds nothing of substance but is bizarrely popular with the foodie community who loves novelty and does not seem to like things that taste good. The "air" took up space on the plate. It wasn't bad, but it added no value.

Feliz cumpleaños para mi. Yo tengo sesenta y uno años ahora.

Languid and Lazy on the Petén Itza

The view of the island of Flores from my luxury cruise ship

After a long, hot day traipsing through the Mayan city of Tikal -- did I say "hot" -- well, not so much the heat as the -- you know what's coming -- the humidity -- I needed a languid, lazy day. So I walked around Flores, cruised around Lake Petén Itza, and then sat around the hotel as a major thunder storm blew in and knocked out the power (and therefore the air conditioning) (and, even worse, the internet) for several hours.

Flores is a very nice (and did I mention hot) city on an island in a lake in a rain forest.

 

In fact, the rain forest of Guatemala's El Petén state is the largest jungle in North America. I would've guessed Panama's impenetrable Darien Gap, but I would've guessed wrong.

Not far from my hotel was a small park. There was supposed to be a museum here, according to Google Maps, but none of the locals heard of it. I trust the locals over the Google geeks in Silicon Valley. But there was a cathedral of sorts.

The official name is Catedral Nuestra Señora de Los Remedios. It is on the highest point on the island of Flores and its two white domes dominate Flores's profile. You can see the two white domes in the photo at the top of the page.

Let's have a look-see:

It's simple. I'm expecting much much more historic architecture when I tour the churches of Antigua at my next stop. This is the altar:

Excellent views of the lake from up here:

You can see the white domes in this photo from the other side of the park:

And the Flores city park has stelae:

Is it real? Or is it memorex? Well, real or replica?

I'm guessing replicant, but they are a nice addition to the park regardless.

All this walking was making me tired. And the City of Flores was even hotter than Tikal (no shade trees would be my theory). So I needed a way to explore without walking in the hot sun.

All around the edges of the island were boats available for tours. I chose Luciano's boat.

Off we went. One hour for only 200 quetzales. A bargain.

The exchange rate is, very roughly 7:1. So 200 quetzales would be a little under $30. For an hour. Only me on the boat besides Luciano the boatsman. In the second year without tourists. Sin problemas. Para mi.

The first destination was Isla Santa Barbara, an island in the lake much much smaller than the island of Flores.

It has iguanas in the trees. They are hard to spot in a tiny photo, but since the iguanas of the Petén are freakin' huge, the one in the above tree was relatively easy to spot even for me. And I never recognize anybody.

This is an abandoned lake side hotel.

With no exterior walls facing the lake, just open air, it's easy to see why it was abandoned. I'm guessing it was abandoned mid-construction, but it didn't tell its secrets to me.

Of course we were not the only boat cruising around Lake Petén Itza.

Yes, the "Itza" is the same "Itza" as in "Chichen Itza, Mexico." "Itza" is a Mayan word meaning "sorceror of the water," or thereabouts, which makes much more sense for a lake than an inland peninsula.

There are little tourist villages all around lake. I'm guessing those are more for the Guatemalans than the foreigners, but that's a guess with absolutely no basis in fact.

Somebody ferrying a car across the lake. And you can see the white domes of the cathedral from the island. So much happening in that photo above.

And here's another lakeside tourist village.

This has been major tourism country, driven as much by fun on the lake as by nearby Tikal, and, hopefully, it soon will be again.

At this point, the hour for which I paid my quetzales was coming to a close, time to head back to the dock.

I did not know that there was a huge new Ramada right on the water. The thing must have more rooms than every other hotel on the island of Flores combined.

And we're back at the dock.

Adios, Luciano.

Time for a little more walking around before getting out of the hot afternoon sun.

I headed back to the hotel to rest up before dinner. I decided that I was going to try a different restaurant than the hotel restaurant (which was very good) (I just thought some variety would do me good).

And here are the obligatory letters marking everyplace you go nowadays.

But, right around 5:00 p.m., even with a sunny sky, a major storm blew in. The winds were so strong that it knocked out the power until around 10:00 a.m. The internet was still out even when I checked out of the hotel this morning.

Good-bye Isla de Flores Hotel. Good-bye Petén.

Sitting in a Rooftop Bar in a Rain Forest, Drinking a Guava and Rum Drink

The view from the bar on the roof of the Hotel Isla de Flores in Flores, Guatemala

Today was one of those days where everything went wrong and I still ended up where I was supposed to be. But where it is that I ended up is not really some place I ever expected I would be: in a crowded rooftop bar in a rustic hotel in the middle of rain forest in the middle of Guatemala. But here I am. Well, how did I get here?

How? On a turbo-prop plane. But not the turbo-prop I was supposed to be on.

I missed my flight this morning. And what was my excuse? I had in my head that my flight was leaving in the early afternoon so I would have a nice leisurely morning in my hotel in Guatemala City. I'm enjoying my nice leisurely breakfast when I decided to check to make sure my flight was on time and I noticed that ... my flight ... was leaving ... in 45 minutes. There was no chance to make it on time. I hadn't packed or showered.  So I got to the airport when I could. I begged. I looked sad. Sadder than sad. And I bought a one-way ticket for the late afternoon flight to Flores.

So I was able to keep my reservation at the Hotel Isla de Flores.

The place is a bit rustic. But the room does have air conditioning. Which is important. Since tomorrow, the daytime high is expected to get over 100 degrees. The good news? When it is that hot, the relative humidity usually peaks at about 70 percent.

I can see a bit of the lake surrounding the town on all sides. That is if I were to open the window. But given rain forest temperatures, rain forest humidity, and rain forest insect life, I don't expect to open the windows.

And the lake does surround the city on all sides, except for a single strand of a causeway connecting Flores to the mainland. It is festive, with a party atmosphere, just like it was an island. I was hungry after not eating anything since my breakfast interruptus at the hotel earlier in the day.

I ate at the hotel restaurant. I ordered a chipotle cheeseburger with bacon.

And what are those slices of green on top? This is Guatemala and that is avocado. Avocado, food of the Maya gods, is omnipresent in Guatemalan cuisine. Even on a BBQ bacon cheeseburger. And it worked. It was like an extra thick layer of mayonnaise, and we all know how good a little mayo is on a BBQ bacon cheeseburger.

I walked around a little after supper taking in Flores after dark.

I'm not sure if the crowds were out because it was Saturday night (I guess that makes it all right), or if it was the party time of year in Flores, or people were hanging out in a party town to celebrate the end of the COVID era. But the crowds were out.

But I couldn't walk around long because I had to head to the hotel's rooftop bar to enjoy my free "welcome beverage."

I chose the adult option, a guava and rum cocktail that was a bit sweet, but with a bit of a kick. So, after missing one flight, and spending a good chunk of the day at Guatemala City airport waiting for the next flight to Flores, I found myself somewhere I never expected to be: in a rooftop bar in a party town in the middle of a rain forest in the middle of Central America. Having just eaten a BBQ bacon cheeseburger with a ton of avocado on top.